I found a letter in my post office box late last week from our hospital administrator, Mr. Grinch, announcing hospital pep rally week. He said he loves working with us, and that we will be celebrating excellence. Mr. Grinch explained that our wonderful hospital has five “Pillars of Excellence” that guide our daily actions and decision-making policies. The pillars are Quality, Service, People, Innovation, and Finance. I immediately thought that I had found a typo in the letter when I discovered that Finance was mentioned as the last pillar. After all, nurses are constantly being told that we have to work harder with less staff in order for the hospital to make more money. Mr. Grinch said that he was was very excited about the upcoming events. Here’s what’s happening this week at the hospital:

Monday: Silly Hat Day.

Free Hot Breakfast Bar in the hospital cafeteria from 6-9 a.m. Employees must be wearing a silly hat to get a free breakfast. I’ve heard of singing for your supper, but I’ve never heard of looking silly for your breakfast. I think I’ll pass.

Tuesday: Crazy Socks Day.

Sorry, there are no prizes for wearing crazy socks on Tuesday. You just get the honor of looking peculiar while you are at work.

Wednesday: Wear a Smile Day

Employees who smile are eligible to receive a free chair massage and blood pressure screening in the basement by the cafeteria. Keep on smiling!

Thursday: Hospital Spirit Day

Employees are encouraged to wear hospital colors to work to show their “team spirit.” For doing this, hospital employees will be rewarded with a hamburger or hotdog cooked out on a grill, and a chance to win a FREE flat screen TV. I can’t imagine Mr. Grinch giving away a nice television. Maybe he plans to charge a delivery fee equivalent to the cost of the television. I wonder if it’s the same kind of TV that Mr. Grinch has in his luxurious office.

Friday: Jeans Day

Once again, there are no special prizes for wearing jeans to work, but the hospital plans to deliver special gifts to each department. Maybe I’ll drop by the hospital to see if these guys are our “special gifts.”

I felt butterflies in my stomach after reading my letter from Mr. Grinch, or maybe it was just gas. Oh yeah, I’m feeling the love. Anyway, I can’t wait to see what they come up for us for Nurses Week. I heard that the hospital plans to spend 4 bucks on each nurse. Well placed sources have told me that Mr. Grinch plans to buy us each a flash light. Oh joy, now I’m really feeling the love. I’ll keep you posted.