Part of my job as a psychiatric nurse is to help people learn to communicate more effectively with others. This post is for all you guys out there who read my blog. Please read this email sent to me by my mother, and take notes. This information will help you understand how the female mind works, thereby allowing you to live a calmer and less complicated life. Remember, knowledge is power.

Have you ever wondered what the women in your life are really trying to tell you when they speak? This list provides a translation of terms commonly used by women.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That’s Okay: This is one the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women’s way of saying screw YOU! (in a nice sort of way)

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Send this is all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it’t true.