Now that I’m done hosting Grand Rounds, I have time to start looking again for the perfect job. I’m heartbroken because the man of my dreams, Steven Jobs, never contacted me about a job, or my new iPhone. By the way, Steven, the offer is still on the table, so call me.

This is a job that I could really get into, just as long as I’m not required to get into that dress. There isn’t enough wiggle room in a wiggle dress for my expanding waistline and hips. Nurse Vonnie looks very confident as she walks along the seashore. Maybe she is wearing a coat on the beach because she left her sunscreen at home. I’m not sure that I could ever get use to wearing a cap and high heels during my strolls along the beach. It might get a little rugged on a windy day, and I hate the feeling of sand inside of my high heel shoes. This job looks like it was made in heaven. The sand, surf, and pink flamingos look so inviting, but looks can be deceiving. Vonnie’s heart is troubled as her wedding day approaches:

“Vonnie tried to respond to Tim’s tender kiss, but in her lover’s embrace the unhappy nurse heard the voice and saw the face of another man. It was then that Vonnie realized that she was hopelessly in love with Dr. Paul Greer, and she knew that it could mean nothing but heartbreak. Because Dr. Greer was engaged to marry the woman who was Vonnie’s patient, a maddened alcoholic, driven to dangerous rages in her need for drink. For the first time in her career, the beautiful RN was torn between her professional duty and her own desperate emotions.”

Poor Vonnie, it must be tough being in love with someone when you are betrothed to someone else. Personally, I think Vonnie is better off without Dr. Greer. He sounds like he has some major codependency issues, and I think that Vonnie would be happier living with a man who doesn’t have emotional baggage. Dr. Greer needs to attend some Alonon meetings, and I hope that he dumps his raging alcoholic girlfriend. She is only going to bring him down. Someday Dr. Greer will thank me for my advice.

Vonnie, call me if you quit your job after you get married. I’m a great psychiatric nurse, and I am willing to relocate to Waikiki. I can get use to living in paradise.