My mother sent this to me the other day. Maxine is my role model. I wonder if she is a retired nurse.

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life, remember:

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It’s called …. “Ministers Do More Than Lay People”

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink…and be Mary.

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss…
The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

4. My mind works like lightning…
One brilliant flash and it is gone.

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in the bathroom.

6. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there’s shipping and handling, too.

7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

8. My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.

9. Definition of a teenager?
God’s punishment…for enjoying sex.

10. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.