I’ve been really stressed out since my former patient, Mr. Jackass, came over the desk at the nurses station and tried stabbing me to death. Something like that is hard to forget, and quite frankly, the experience has affected my health. So, I did what every nurse in my position should do. I told my employer that I needed help.

The Greatest Hospital In The World has a wellness center. It’s where patients with excellent health insurance, or deep pockets, can go for their alternative health care needs. It’s posh, so needless to say, I’ve never had the money to partake of their services. I’ve always been curious about the benefits of acupuncture. I’ve heard that acupuncture relieves stress, and that it can improve your overall health. I wanted to try it out, so I asked the director of human resources if the hospital would let me have some acupuncture treatments free of charge. She said yes.

I know that having needles stuck into your body sounds gross, but acupuncture is really great stuff. My body feels like it’s floating in space during my treatments, and I feel at peace. I still have some hypertension that is related to stress, but the horrific nightmares are starting to subside. Nurses are always getting needled by their employers, but I hope this “needling” doesn’t stop anytime soon.