Wow, I want whatever she’s on. She looks so Yankee Doodle PERKY! Maybe she’s standing like that because her leotards are too tight, or maybe it’s because she’s been taking a bit too much Provigil for her ES. That’s the new marketing term for “Excessive Sleepiness.” No, I’m not kidding. The makers of Provigil have found a new way of marketing trucker speed. Can’t stay awake? Take Provigil and wave your stars and stripes all day long! Check out this “non-biased” website about Provigil. The website also claims that Provigil cures apathy and Nurse K’s favorite ailment, fibromyalgia.

Have a happy and safe 4th of July holiday weekend.