Do you remember Marcus Welby MD? He was a family practitioner that came into our homes from 1968-1976 on ABC. Dr. Welby had a kind bedside manner. Every week he was holding someone’s hand while telling them that everything was going to be all right. Dr. Welby believed that kindness was the best medicine, and he taught the up and coming Dr. Steven Kiley the gentle art of medicine. I think that every doctor should watch episodes of Marcus Welby during medical school.

I recently had some minor surgery done on a part of my body that I lightheartedly refer to as “The Girls.” My little girls were getting painful and a little lumpy, so I decided to find a surgeon that could remove a couple of cysts. I knew ahead of time that the surgeon that I had picked had a lousy bedside manner. In fact, I knew that he was a jerk, but I chose him because he has a good reputation in the operating room. Everything went swimmingly until I made it into post op. Here’s some advice from Dr. Welby about improving your bedside manner: Do not mention the word mastectomy to a woman who is coming out of anesthesia.

MASTECTOMY = CANCER

My stupid surgeon told me that that my girls would be as flat as little pancakes if it weren’t for the cysts. He also told me that he would have to perform a double mastectomy in order to get rid of every cysts. All I heard was, “Bla-bla-bla mastectomy-cancer.” Thank goodness for my nurse. She held my hand when I started crying, and told me that everything was going to be all right. She also suggested that I find a new doctor.

Paging Dr. Welby…where are you?