Are you old enough to remember shiny clinging Lycra stretch disco pants, sequin bandeau tops, and stretch halter jumpsuits? If you remember dressing like a disco queen or king, then you’re old enough to remember the Bee Gees. Their music was all over the airways when I was in nursing school thanks to the movie, Saturday Night Fever. Now one of their songs is helping to save lives. Stayin’ Alive is a near perfect rhythm to help jump-start a heart, and I still can’t get that song out of my head.

The glorious semiannual CPR season is now in full swing at the Greatest Hospital in the World. Meet one of Resusci Anne’s relatives. I didn’t catch his name. We were not properly introduced and he was a little out of it. I was too. My CPR class started at 8 a.m. and I am NOT a morning person. The whole thing was annoying. I hate going into the hospital on my day off.

I was anxious to meet our CPR instructor. The rumor mill describes her as a Nazi who will slam her classroom door in your face if you arrive one minute late for the beginning of her class. I was told that she enjoys telling people that they are screwed and that they have to come back some other time for class. This is the sign that she has up on her classroom wall. How charming. I was able to breeze through the class and I am now the proud owner of a brand spanking new CPR card. I also have sore shoulders and an aching back as a result of my efforts. In fact I’m so sore that I can barely get my arms up to my keyboard to type this post. Thank God I don’t have to take this stupid class for another two years. Now where did I put my Motrin?