Meet LeRoy. He was a pharmacist back in the early 1930s. LeRoy is teaching Dr. Baggy Pants about a new fangled medication that just hit the market. I bet it was something really cutting edge like penicillin. Pharmacists know everything that there is to know about medications. It’s what they do. They are professionals.

Some pharmacists, like LeRoy, live for pharmacology. Then there are some other pharmacists who just live to do drugs. I guess it’s true what they say about some people becoming pharmacists just so they can get their hands into the pharmaceutical cookie jar. One such pharmacist is Mr. Pill Head. His world came crashing down around his ears last week when he had a run in with the law. The rumor mill at the Greatest Hospital in the World was churning, so I checked out the public record to find out what was going on. My jaw dropped. According to police reports, Mr. Pill Head had allegedly crashed into five cars while he was under the influence of controlled substances, left the scene of an accident, and had been selling drugs out of the back of his car. I’m sure that he wasn’t speeding down the road in an attempt to escape from police. He was just trying to get into work on time so wouldn’t miss JCAHO. Too bad he didn’t make it into work. I would have paid anything to watch JCAHO inspectors insist that Mr. Pill Head pee into a cup. I’m sure that our hospital administrator would have just passed out.

I can only imagine what LeRoy would have thought about Mr. Pill Head’s drug habit. I’m sure that pharmacists sampling their own wares isn’t anything new. I’m also sure that Mr. Pill Head can kiss his professional license goodbye.