I want to throw my hat into the ring for Barack Obama’s old job as US Senator of Illinois. Traditionally, one must live in Illinois to qualify for the job, but since the Illinois governor isn’t playing by the rules, I’m sending in my application. Keep your fingers crossed. Here are my qualifications:

I’m a nurse, and as we all know nurses can do anything on a shoestring budget. The country is going broke, so it’s really important to have someone in power that knows how to stretch a buck.

Nurses are honest people. Don’t believe me? Check out the new Gallup poll. For the 7th year in a row, and for the 9th out of 10 years, nurses are ranked number one on their annual “Honesty and Ethics” survey, and God knows we need more honesty in Washington, D.C.

Congress is full of crazy people. I’m a psych nurse. Seriously, the country needs my help.

I’m well trained in the art of B.S and I already know how to use the Metro system.

My bags are packed and I’m ready to go. Now all I need is enough money to buy the job. Anyone have an extra million bucks?