Nurse Ratched’s Place

I’ll never forget those immortal words, “Double your pleasure, double your fun.” Chewing gum was fun, except when you got caught chewing it in class. We had to wear the offending wad of gum on the tip of our nose if our teacher caught us breaking the class rules. Of course, I was the perfect child, and never chewed gum at school. There was another reason why I didn’t chew gum. I wore braces, and I didn’t want to get gum tangled up in the wires.

Check out this old Doublemint ad. It says that chewing Wriggles Doublemint gum helps a woman keep the youthful contour of her face. I didn’t know that chewing gum could make a woman look beautiful. Somehow I don’t see women trading in botox and expensive plastic surgery for a pack of chewing gum.

Today, I’m doubling my pleasure by writing a double meme. I received these memes from Liana from Med Valley High and from 24 Hour Nurse from Nursing 24 Hours A Day . Liana wants to know 5 reasons why I blog, and 24 Hour Nurse asked me to write 8 random facts about myself . Here we go.

Five reasons why I blog:

Writing helps me relax. The creative process relieves stress.

I enjoy sharing information with others about things that are important to me.

I enjoy developing “pen pal” relationships with people from around the world.

Writing is a way of advocating for my patients.

It’s fun.

Here are eight random facts about me.

I am a huge animal lover.

I wrote a book about Fiesta dinnerware.

I am a perennial college student.

My kids think I’m the coolest mom on earth because I’m a blogger.

I’m a thrift store junkie.

I play the cello.

My favorite actor is Robert Redford.

My car is a Scion. I named it Milton Harvey.

I’m not into tagging people, so feel free to tag yourself.

Photograph by Mother Jones, RN

This is a photograph that I created that expresses the old saying, “When hell freezes over.” I repeated this phrase over and over again last weekend when I was at work.

Thank God it’s Monday. I know, that’s the last thing you want to hear especially if you’re reading this entry from work. My weekend was hell. It was the same old thing. You know, overworked and understaffed, but there was a new element to the mix. I think one of the units staged a sickout, and I overheard nurses from all over the hospital talking about going on strike. I’ve NEVER seen anything like this before. Ever! The phone at the nurses station wouldn’t stop ringing. The nurses throughout the hospital were about to revolt, and the docs were trying to get their problem patients off of the medical units and out the ER before the nurses walked out. Of course, they thought that the psych unit would be the perfect place to dump their patients. One doctor tried to bully me into accepting a patient. I first explained why we don’t take medical patients on the psych unit, but she insisted that she had some sacred power over me—I’m a doctor and you are a lowly nurse—so I repeatedly said my mantra about hell freezing over until she abruptly hung up on me. I think some people have a misconception about what psych nurses do all day. No, we don’t sit behind a desk and play Sigmund Freud with our patients. We are working our butts off just like everyone else in the hospital, thank you very much. I think administration is getting nervous about what’s going on in the hospital because I didn’t get any resistance when I closed our unit to admissions because of lack of staff and other safety issues. And guess what, Mr. Grinch was the administrator on call. He was the one who let me close the unit. It’s going to be interesting to see how things play out this week at work.

Welcome to Change of Shift. This week’s theme is about TV Land and the nurses who inhabit the television airwaves, but before we get started, stand by for a commerical message. The new edition of “Following the Leaders,” is posted at Nursing Jobs. Org. Come check it out.

Do you remember Nurse Dixie McCall from the 1972 television show, Emergency? She looks like she has too much time on her hands. Maybe it’s a slow day in the emergency room because her hospital isn’t offering free goodies to EMTs who bring patients to her hospital. She needs to read girlvet’s post at madness: tales of an emergency room nurse about good customer service.

Forget free coffee and donuts, the one health care team member that keeps things rolling smoothly in the ER is our unsung hero, the security officer. The Forgotten Blue Line sent in this post about working with patients who are out of control. Sometimes you have to throw happy-smiling-face customer service out the window.

Good old Dr. Marcus Welby and his sidekick Dr. Steven Kiley were the doctors of choice back in 1969. They were great doctors, but it was their nurse, Consuelo Guadalupe Lopez, who kept the office running. She was the first Latina character that I ever remember seeing on television. Nurse Lopez was bilingual, and I’m sure the doctors were happy that she was in their office. Nurse M from Code Pink submitted a moving story about language barriers, and what happens when we are unable to communicate with our patients

Carol Hathaway from ER was the whole package: She was pretty, smart, and she married George Clooney. Oh yeah, George Clooney makes me drool. After Carol recovered from her bout of depression, she lived happily ever after with her hottie husband. Every girl should be so lucky. Carol took care of thousands of patients with all sorts of injuries before she married the man of her dreams. I wonder if she took care of many people who were involved in snowmobile accidents. ERnursey talks about taking care of a patient who had an unfortunate experience on a snowmobile in her post, Femur Fracture. Ouch!

Although Carol was a cracker jack nurse, she always dreamed of being a wife and mother. Kris from theChronicles of Kris gives us this post about motherhood and being a nurse.

St. Elsewhere first aired in 1982, and it featured doctors and nurses working at South Boston’s St. Eligius Hospital. St. Eligius was a sanctuary for the underdog and the downtrodden. Nurse Helen Rosenthal, pictured standing between Dr. Daniel Craig and Dr. Donald Westphall, was a friend to everyone, and each week she worked hard to keep her unit from falling apart. Sounds familar doesn’t it? I guess some things never change. St. Elsewhere was one of the first television shows to discuss AIDS. This was important because most people in the early 1980s didn’t know anything about the disease. Nurse Rosenthal and her hospital collegues met the challenges of caring for AIDS patients head on, and delievered compassionate care to their dying patients. May from about a nurse wrotethis emotional post about one of her patients that was dying of AIDS.

One big reason why some medical shows like St. Elsewhere look so realistic is because they have medical consultants who help script the scenes. Monkey Girl said that more shows need to hire consultants. Read her post about teeth.

It’s too bad that St. Eligius hospital was just the figment of someone’s imagination. We need more hospitals that are willing to care for the poor. Keith at Digital Doorway writes about a center that is doing great things. The center’s program was developed Massachusetts General Hospital.

Who could forget daytime television nurse Jessie Brewer from General Hospital. She was caring, kind, and best friends with Dr. Steven Hardy. I watched General Hospital everyday during the summer when I was staying at my baby sitter’s house. It first aired in 1963 when I was 8 years old, and it’s been on ever since. Jessie always gave compassinate care to her patients. Raecatherine writes about the compassionate care she gives her patients , and how she deals with death.

Everyone at General Hospital had major problems they were trying to solve in their lives. Pixel RN sent in a post about a nurse who lost her nursing license because she was accused of diverting narcotics for her own use.

The Nurses first aired in 1962. The story takes place in a large hospital and revolves around Head Nurse Liz Thorpe and her student, Gail Lucas. Each week Liz and Gail wrestle with moral and ethical issues. In the real world, nursing isn’t always so serious. We know how to laugh and have a good time at work. Soon-to-be student nurse, Faith Walker, from The Oracle submitted a story about how she handled a smelly situation at work.

I think my all time favorite television show was M*A*S*H. My favorite doctor was Hawkeye, and of course, there was good old Hot Lips Houlihan. I know a lot of nurses aren’t really happy with Hot Lips, but if you can look past her blatant slutty behavior with Dr. Frank Burns and a whole list of other military officers, you will see a very good nurse. I think I liked the show so much because the entire camp was a little crazy. The show had a theme song about suicide. The song said that suicide is painless. Nurse William said it’s not painless for the ones left behind. Read his post about a nurse’s suicide. On a lighter note, check out this post sent in by Laura from Adventures in Juggling. The video looks like something the members of the 4077 would put together. You’ve got to see it to believe it.

Before signing off from today’s broadcast, I want to thank Kim for allowing me to host Change of Shift. Kim is hosting the next edition of Change of Shift on May 31st at Emergiblog. See you then.

Daniel Goldberg at Medical Humanities Blog is hosting Grand Rounds. It’s a work of art. Check it out. And remember, Change of Shift is coming to Nurse Ratched’s Place on May 17th.

I’m depressed. Yes, even psych nurses get depressed. Another nurse I work with is leaving our unit at the end of the month. She’s been a nurse for years, and she can’t take it anymore. She plans to leave nursing.

She told me that she’s been thinking about this for a long time. Do you remember the Lucy show episode where she’s working in a chocolate factory? You remember, it’s the episode where the conveyer belt keeps moving the chocolates faster and faster until Lucy can’t keep up anymore, and she starts stuffing the candy in her shirt and into her mouth. My friend says that she feels like Lucy. She observed that the patients are widgets on the conveyer belt, and that she hates not being able to give them the care that they deserve. The pace on our unit is getting more chaotic, and we both see patients getting shoved through a profit driven system, sometimes with tragic results. She’s had it, and she turned in her resignation last night before leaving work.

Maybe I should start working on that great American novel I always wanted to write, and start thinking about a new career. But on the other hand, if I left nursing, I wouldn’t have anything to write about for my blog, so I think I’ll stick around a little longer in the asylum we call the health care system.

If you’re old enough to remember when gas stations looked like this, then you’re old enough to remember gas wars. I know that my younger readers are thinking that I’m getting senile, and that I really meant to say something about the movie Star Wars, but let me explain. There was a time when gas stations would DROP gas prices in an attempt to put their competition out of business. The other stations would drop their prices, too, hence the term gas war. I started thinking about the good old days as I drove past my favorite gas station today. Gas prices are up to $3.10 a gallon. I have a great idea for any nurse recruiters who may be reading this post. Instead of offering some pansy recruitment incentive like free parking or employee discounts in the hospital cafeteria, I think you should give all of your nurses a prepaid gas card every month. What do you think? If you use my idea, you can thank me by filling up my gas tank. Thank God my Scion gets good gas mileage.

I received this email from Mother about getting good mileage. It makes me think that a few reachers have too much time on their hands:

Subject: a study that makes sense

A 2006 study by Texas A&M University found that the average American walks about 900 miles per year. Another study by the American Beer Institute found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon – not bad!

Before you go out and start doing a little weekend research of your own, don’t forget to send in your submission for Change of Shift. The deadline is May 13th. Email your post to nurseratchedsplace at yahoo dot com.

Enjoy your weekend.

Are you old enough to remember Pat Boone? I remember watching his TV show back in the 1950s on our family’s old black and white TV. We used an old fashioned antenna that sat on top of the television so we could get better reception. The antenna looked like a set of bunny ears with tin foil hanging from their tips. The Pat Boon Show was sponsored by Chevrolet, so when my dad bought his 1958 Chevrolet Biscayne, I named the car Pat Boone. What can I say, I was only four years old and I thought that any guy that drank milk, and sang songs to me from inside of a television set was cool.

I picked up this book up at a local thrift shop, and after reading it, I can understand why the book’s previous owner gave it away. Let’s just say that it was far from being a work of great literature. You may be asking yourself why I’ve posted a picture of this book on my blog. Well, I’m coming out of the closet. No, not that closet, I’m coming out of the blogger closet. Nursing Jobs. Org has launched a nursing column that features a different nurse blogger each day of the week. Writers include Kim McAllister from Emergiblog, Susan McNicholas from Donor Cycle, and Labor Nurse from the Life and Times of a Labor Nurse. I’m launching my feature column, Following the Leaders, on May 10th, and like Kim and Susan, I’m dropping the veil of anonymity. I’ll always be Mother Jones RN at Nurse Ratched’s Place, but when when my web guy, Shane, asked me to write under my real identity at Nursing Jobs. Org, I couldn’t refuse his request.

Come visit us at Nursing Jobs. Org. We’ll be looking for you.

In honor of Nurses Week, Mr. Grinch is giving each nurse at our hospital a crappy trinket, so I decided to treat myself to a little gift. I deserve something nice. I bought an IL Divo CD at Best Buy for $11.95, which is $10.95 more than what Mr. Grinch is spending on my gift. IL Divo is the whole package. Each member of the group has a wonderful voice, and each one is eye candy dressed in an Armani suit. Score!

Happy Nurses Week.

Do you remember that old saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child?” You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? There are nights when I just want to scream, “Hey, Mommy and Daddy, get a clue. There isn’t anything wrong with your child, it’s just that your kid is a demon seed, and that you’re too stupid for words.” I’m sorry if I not sounding compassionate, but after this weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion that some people shouldn’t have children.

The phone was ringing at the desk as I was admitting a new patient to the unit. We don’t have a unit secretary on evening shift, so I excused myself so I could answer the phone. The first thing I heard when I put the phone to my ear was screaming and crashing furniture, and then I heard a woman pleading with someone not to hurt her.

Me: Hello? Hello!

Woman (crying): Is there a doctor there? My daughter, (former patient’s name), is out of control. She lives with me and I’m afraid for my life.

Me: No doctor here. You need to call 911.

Woman: Please, put down the knife! No, no…. The phone goes dead.

With my new patient standing at the nurses station with his mouth hanging open, I once again excused myself while I went into a private office to call the police. I called 911, and I identified myself as a psychiatric nurse. I told the police dispatcher about the phone call, and I asked him to send an officer out to the mother’s house to make sure that she was all right. The police brought the patient to the ER, and I found out later that the patient had destroyed the inside of her mother’s house because mom wouldn’t let our former patient drive the family car. Guess where she went after she was released from the hospital. That’s right, mama took her devil child back into her home because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Silly me, I guess I’m just old fashioned, but I always thought that people who destroyed private property and threatened to kill others usually were sent to jail. Oh my, what was I thinking? I guess I’m just being a drama queen.

About three hours later, I received another phone call at the nurses station from a parent who was dissatisfied with the care her child was receiving on our unit. The problem? We have tile floors on our unit. She admonished me for the hospital’s stupidity. I asked the outraged parent what she had against tile floors, and she said that her darling had just threatened to beat his head against our “bad” floor tile if she didn’t immediately come to the hospital to take him home. I suggested that her son was merely trying to manipulate her, and that he was safe on our unit. She started screaming at me that her “angel” wasn’t a bad boy, just misunderstood, and that he would NEVER try to manipulate her. Ok, whatever, Stupid Mother. What do I know anyway? One day she’ll be telling a judge that her child is an angel and that he is misunderstood as he is being sentenced to jail.

There is an upside to having dumb parents raising evil brats. I’ll never be out of a job, and Jerry Springer will never run out of dysfunctional families for his show. Thank God for job security.

This poor guy looks like he is suffering from a terrible case of writer’s block. Notice his stiff neck, the tension in his shoulders, and how his hand is supporting his head. I think he’s going to start pulling his hair out of his head any minute. I know the feeling. Don’t you hate it when your creative energies pack up and leave town?

It’s time to dust off the old keyboard and start typing up your submission for the May 17th edition of Change of Shift. Send your post to nurseratchedsplace (at) yahoo (dot) com by May 13th. I hope you’re not suffering from writers block because I’m looking forward to reading your submissions.