Nurse Ratched’s Place

Daniel Goldberg at Medical Humanities Blog is hosting Grand Rounds. It’s a work of art. Check it out. And remember, Change of Shift is coming to Nurse Ratched’s Place on May 17th.

I’m depressed. Yes, even psych nurses get depressed. Another nurse I work with is leaving our unit at the end of the month. She’s been a nurse for years, and she can’t take it anymore. She plans to leave nursing.

She told me that she’s been thinking about this for a long time. Do you remember the Lucy show episode where she’s working in a chocolate factory? You remember, it’s the episode where the conveyer belt keeps moving the chocolates faster and faster until Lucy can’t keep up anymore, and she starts stuffing the candy in her shirt and into her mouth. My friend says that she feels like Lucy. She observed that the patients are widgets on the conveyer belt, and that she hates not being able to give them the care that they deserve. The pace on our unit is getting more chaotic, and we both see patients getting shoved through a profit driven system, sometimes with tragic results. She’s had it, and she turned in her resignation last night before leaving work.

Maybe I should start working on that great American novel I always wanted to write, and start thinking about a new career. But on the other hand, if I left nursing, I wouldn’t have anything to write about for my blog, so I think I’ll stick around a little longer in the asylum we call the health care system.

If you’re old enough to remember when gas stations looked like this, then you’re old enough to remember gas wars. I know that my younger readers are thinking that I’m getting senile, and that I really meant to say something about the movie Star Wars, but let me explain. There was a time when gas stations would DROP gas prices in an attempt to put their competition out of business. The other stations would drop their prices, too, hence the term gas war. I started thinking about the good old days as I drove past my favorite gas station today. Gas prices are up to $3.10 a gallon. I have a great idea for any nurse recruiters who may be reading this post. Instead of offering some pansy recruitment incentive like free parking or employee discounts in the hospital cafeteria, I think you should give all of your nurses a prepaid gas card every month. What do you think? If you use my idea, you can thank me by filling up my gas tank. Thank God my Scion gets good gas mileage.

I received this email from Mother about getting good mileage. It makes me think that a few reachers have too much time on their hands:

Subject: a study that makes sense

A 2006 study by Texas A&M University found that the average American walks about 900 miles per year. Another study by the American Beer Institute found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon – not bad!

Before you go out and start doing a little weekend research of your own, don’t forget to send in your submission for Change of Shift. The deadline is May 13th. Email your post to nurseratchedsplace at yahoo dot com.

Enjoy your weekend.

Are you old enough to remember Pat Boone? I remember watching his TV show back in the 1950s on our family’s old black and white TV. We used an old fashioned antenna that sat on top of the television so we could get better reception. The antenna looked like a set of bunny ears with tin foil hanging from their tips. The Pat Boon Show was sponsored by Chevrolet, so when my dad bought his 1958 Chevrolet Biscayne, I named the car Pat Boone. What can I say, I was only four years old and I thought that any guy that drank milk, and sang songs to me from inside of a television set was cool.

I picked up this book up at a local thrift shop, and after reading it, I can understand why the book’s previous owner gave it away. Let’s just say that it was far from being a work of great literature. You may be asking yourself why I’ve posted a picture of this book on my blog. Well, I’m coming out of the closet. No, not that closet, I’m coming out of the blogger closet. Nursing Jobs. Org has launched a nursing column that features a different nurse blogger each day of the week. Writers include Kim McAllister from Emergiblog, Susan McNicholas from Donor Cycle, and Labor Nurse from the Life and Times of a Labor Nurse. I’m launching my feature column, Following the Leaders, on May 10th, and like Kim and Susan, I’m dropping the veil of anonymity. I’ll always be Mother Jones RN at Nurse Ratched’s Place, but when when my web guy, Shane, asked me to write under my real identity at Nursing Jobs. Org, I couldn’t refuse his request.

Come visit us at Nursing Jobs. Org. We’ll be looking for you.

In honor of Nurses Week, Mr. Grinch is giving each nurse at our hospital a crappy trinket, so I decided to treat myself to a little gift. I deserve something nice. I bought an IL Divo CD at Best Buy for $11.95, which is $10.95 more than what Mr. Grinch is spending on my gift. IL Divo is the whole package. Each member of the group has a wonderful voice, and each one is eye candy dressed in an Armani suit. Score!

Happy Nurses Week.

Do you remember that old saying, “Spare the rod and spoil the child?” You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? There are nights when I just want to scream, “Hey, Mommy and Daddy, get a clue. There isn’t anything wrong with your child, it’s just that your kid is a demon seed, and that you’re too stupid for words.” I’m sorry if I not sounding compassionate, but after this weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion that some people shouldn’t have children.

The phone was ringing at the desk as I was admitting a new patient to the unit. We don’t have a unit secretary on evening shift, so I excused myself so I could answer the phone. The first thing I heard when I put the phone to my ear was screaming and crashing furniture, and then I heard a woman pleading with someone not to hurt her.

Me: Hello? Hello!

Woman (crying): Is there a doctor there? My daughter, (former patient’s name), is out of control. She lives with me and I’m afraid for my life.

Me: No doctor here. You need to call 911.

Woman: Please, put down the knife! No, no…. The phone goes dead.

With my new patient standing at the nurses station with his mouth hanging open, I once again excused myself while I went into a private office to call the police. I called 911, and I identified myself as a psychiatric nurse. I told the police dispatcher about the phone call, and I asked him to send an officer out to the mother’s house to make sure that she was all right. The police brought the patient to the ER, and I found out later that the patient had destroyed the inside of her mother’s house because mom wouldn’t let our former patient drive the family car. Guess where she went after she was released from the hospital. That’s right, mama took her devil child back into her home because she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Silly me, I guess I’m just old fashioned, but I always thought that people who destroyed private property and threatened to kill others usually were sent to jail. Oh my, what was I thinking? I guess I’m just being a drama queen.

About three hours later, I received another phone call at the nurses station from a parent who was dissatisfied with the care her child was receiving on our unit. The problem? We have tile floors on our unit. She admonished me for the hospital’s stupidity. I asked the outraged parent what she had against tile floors, and she said that her darling had just threatened to beat his head against our “bad” floor tile if she didn’t immediately come to the hospital to take him home. I suggested that her son was merely trying to manipulate her, and that he was safe on our unit. She started screaming at me that her “angel” wasn’t a bad boy, just misunderstood, and that he would NEVER try to manipulate her. Ok, whatever, Stupid Mother. What do I know anyway? One day she’ll be telling a judge that her child is an angel and that he is misunderstood as he is being sentenced to jail.

There is an upside to having dumb parents raising evil brats. I’ll never be out of a job, and Jerry Springer will never run out of dysfunctional families for his show. Thank God for job security.

This poor guy looks like he is suffering from a terrible case of writer’s block. Notice his stiff neck, the tension in his shoulders, and how his hand is supporting his head. I think he’s going to start pulling his hair out of his head any minute. I know the feeling. Don’t you hate it when your creative energies pack up and leave town?

It’s time to dust off the old keyboard and start typing up your submission for the May 17th edition of Change of Shift. Send your post to nurseratchedsplace (at) yahoo (dot) com by May 13th. I hope you’re not suffering from writers block because I’m looking forward to reading your submissions.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein.

Einstein was one smart cookie. Stay sane and enjoy your weekend.

I received word from one of my readers that The Value Care, Value Nurses campaign is holding a national nurse conference call this Monday, May 7th at 12:30pm ET. The call will feature U.S. Rep. Jan Schakowsky, who will be discussing her recent nurse-to-patient ratio bill and answering your questions.

Anyone can join. The call is free. Click here for more information.

Check it out.

No, this post isn’t about past American Idol contestants, or Simon Cowell kissing Lakisha Jones. This post is about teenage idols of the past. In 1950, Life Magazine asked American teenagers to list the individuals they admired most, and guess what! Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale were mentioned on the list. The American public has always admired nurses, but I was surprised when I learned that teenagers use to idolize nurses. Then I remembered some nursing history that may explain the results of this survey.

In 1943, the U.S. government established the United States Cadet Nurse Corps. According to the Rochester General Hospital website, its primary purpose was to ensure that the United States had enough nurses to care for the needs of its citizens on both the home and war fronts. Our government actively recruited high school girls to join the Cadet Nurse Corps. Many girls saw this as an opportunity to help the U.S. during a time of war, as well as a way of paying for a nursing education. A student nurse who joined the Cadet Nurse Corps was eligible for a government subsidy that paid for her tuition, books, and uniforms as well as a small living stipend. In return, participants in the Corps pledged to actively serve in essential civilian, military or other Federal and government services for the duration of the war. The results of the Cadet Nurse Corps included a dramatic rise in the number of nursing students, a greater public recognition of nurses, and changes in the manner in which nurses were educated and trained. I think that lawmakers should resurrect this program in order to help solve our national nursing crisis.

Maybe more kids would choose Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale as the next American Idol if they were given this type of opportunity to enter the nursing profession.

Sorry, Simon.