Nurse Ratched’s Place

Holy crap! Now this nurse works in a tough neighborhood. Check out the guys walking her to the parking lot. Besides the occasional avalanche, I had no idea that working at a ski lodge could be so dangerous. I don’t think this nurse is too smart. She is working in a bad neighborhood, she is freezing her butt off in a little blue cape and her nurses cap is going to fly off of her head in the wind. She is obviously not the brightest nurse in the igloo.

I’ve never been able to figure out why God made snow. I think he was in a bad mood one day and said, “To heck with it. I’m going to make something that’s wet, cold, and disgusting.” And don’t give me that crap about snow being fluffy and beautiful. I’m not in the mood. I got snowed in at work last weekend and I’m not happy about it.

The weatherman called for 6-8 inches of snow when I got up last Sunday morning, so I packed a suitcase and went into work. I was hoping that my packed bag would ward off evil snow spirits, but they just laughed in my face and hit our area with over 12 inches of heavy wet snow, along with 35-40 mile an hour winds. My friend Night Nurse slammed into a ditch when she was coming into work. Fortunately she wasn’t injured and she eventually made it into work. Thank God she has a four wheel drive truck. Of course I couldn’t leave until Night Nurse made it into work, and then I couldn’t go home because of the weather. I spent the night on a hard mattress in a very cold part of the hospital. Then the next morning I got a wake up call from Night Nurse, pleading with me to come back to the unit. The day shift hadn’t made it in yet, and the patients were waking up, so I splashed some very cold water on my face and ran back onto the unit to work.

Now call me old fashioned, but throughout this whole ordeal I kept wondering why my boss wasn’t at work. Back in the old days, head nurses came into work before big storms hit and they didn’t leave the unit for days. That’s right, for days! They packed a suitcase, and they were the first ones to come in during an emergency and the last ones to leave. I know things have changed. Now nurse managers are pencil pushers with a nursing degree. Just because things are changing doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I have a typical nurse manager. She came strolling onto the unit on Monday morning with her makeup on, perfectly quaffed, and with every hair in place. She looked rested and refreshed. I looked like hell. My boss just gave me another reason to hate snow. Thanks!

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel has what it takes to be a nurse. Ben Smith from Politico wrote that Rahm, who took time out last weekend to go see The Wrestler at a local DC movie house, helped a fellow moviegoer who was having a seizure. The man was sitting right next to Rahm in the theater, and according to sources, “Rahm used some vulgarities to impress upon the movie theater staff — who wanted to move the guy out of the movie theater so they could restart the film — that they should wait until EMS got there.” Rahm also stayed and helped until EMS arrived on the scene.

Bravo, Rahm. Good job! You’ll have a second career waiting for you as a nurse when you learn how to work with doctors. You can start by making up with Howard Dean. Read what Howard wrote for the Huffington Post.

I found this picture in one of my old nursing yearbooks. The picture was published in 1955. The nurse in the picture is admiring a statue that represents the nursing profession. We’ve come a long way over the years. Nurses back in 1955 were subservient. They took orders and carried them out. Period! Thank goodness things are changing in our profession, but more things need to change. You can get the ball rolling by calling CNA/NNOC ASAP!

Nurses hold the key to creating real and significant changes in the health care system. Back in 2006, a grassroots movement was started to establish the Office of the National Nurse. The movement is gaining momentum, and now is the time to come together to get this initiative brought before members of Congress. Unfortunately, some nursing leaders just don’t get it. Some of these nurses, for whatever reason, are spreading misinformation about the proposal. This proposal will not create a new position and it won’t take away funding from anyone else.

Let’s look at the facts:

Why is an Office of the National Nurse Needed?

To slow the growing epidemics of preventable diseases:

Current estimates predict a 42% increase in the 7 chronic diseases.
Risk of type II diabetes is high for more than 41 million Americans.
$1.3 TRILLION annual economic impact of the most common chronic diseases.
The U.S. ranks 19th in preventable deaths.

Promote health awareness, increase health literacy, and reduce health disparities:

Only 31% of Americans can name all 5 heart attack warning signs.
Ninety million Americans have poor health literacy resulting in higher mortality.
Death rates from stroke are 40% higher in African American adults compared to Caucasian adults.

To promote health careers and increased resources:

Severe nursing shortages are projected to continue.
Public health workforce needs are critical.
Public health infrastructure must be strengthened.

To enhance visibility and public recognition of nursing:

Raise awareness of diverse careers in nursing.
Demonstrate nursing leadership and autonomy.
Encourage youth to explore careers in nursing and healthcare.

Who Will Be the National Nurse?

Congress will designate the existing Chief Nurse Officer (CNO) of the US Public Health Service (USPHS), who also serves as the Assistant Surgeon General, be elevated to become a full time position within the Office of the Surgeon General and be officially titled the National Nurse for prevention. Our goal is to elevate and enhance the Office of the PHS Chief Nurse to bring more visibility to the critical role nursing occupies in promoting, protecting, and advancing the nation’s health.

What Will the Office of the National Nurse Do?

The Office of the National Nurse will perform those responsibilities currently being executed by the CNO and will particularly have these more prominent roles:

Support the Surgeon General’s Focus on Prevention
Assist in the initiation of a nationwide cultural shift to prevention.
Bolster efforts to focus the public on healthy living.
Intensify roles for nurses, including students and retirees, in community health promotion.
Provide greater support to the Surgeon General in calling for improvements in health literacy and reduction in health disparities.

Develop Nurses as Community Health Advocates
Encourage all nurses to spread prevention messages in their communities.
Encourage participation of nurses in Medical Reserve Corps (MRC) units.
Provide leadership to network with existing volunteer health promotion efforts.
Strengthen linkages with providers, nursing programs, and public health leadership.

Promote Professional Nursing
Serve as a visible national spokesperson for professional nursing.
Increase public awareness of nursing roles and contributions.
Enhance nursing recruitment and education throughout all communities.

Support and justify additional funding for nursing education, research and service.

Sound good, doesn’t it? No nursing organization will lose their authority, nurses gain a prominent position in government, and the proposal won’t cost taxpayers one additional red cent. Now, it’s time for you to do your part to make this happen. If you are a member of CAN/NNOC, please call or email Deborah Burger, RN. Ms. Burger sits on the CNA/NNOC Council of Presidents. Tell Ms. Burger that you want a National Nurse. As I understand it, she and her colleagues believe that the Office of National Nurse creates a new entity and requires additional funding. These misconceptions are not true. Please call Ms. Burger at (510) 273 – 2200 or send her an email. Her email address is “dburger at calnurses dot org”.

Click here to learn more about the proposal to establish the Office of the National Nurse.

Look at those nurses gossiping at the nurses station. I wonder what they’re talking about. Let me guess. They’re talking about their boss and who wants to date the hot new doctor on the unit. Gossiping nurses have been around since the days of Florence Nightingale. Now, thanks to Facebook, we don’t even have to go into work to gossip. All we have to do is go online.

I taught a couple of teenagers something about Facebook this weekend when I was at work. The night nurse and I were chatting at the nurses station when she asked me if I liked the flair that she had sent me last week. A group of teenagers that were standing within earshot instantly knew that we were talking about our Facebook pages and they acted like they had just walked in on their parents while they were having sex. Eeewwwww! They couldn’t believe that two old people knew anything about the Internet, much less about Facebook. One of the kids asked us what older people (ouch!) talked about on Facebook. After all, we couldn’t possibly be talking about anything cool because we’re so, you know, OLD! I told them that we talk about vitamins and the best places to buy orthopedic shoes. I think they believed me. That hurt. Those kids wouldn’t believe what we really gossip about. I’m sure that I could have really freaked them out if I told them that nurses blog, too.

One of my girlfriends just bought a house. She’s been talking about buying one ever since I met her seven years ago and she finally took the plunge. She really loves her new place except for one thing. It feels empty, so she’s thinking about buying a dog or finding a husband so she won’t feel lonely anymore. Of course she asked me for my opinion on this very important issue. Let’s look at the facts.

Dogs and husbands have a lot in common. We must give our new dog or husband a lot of our time and attention if we want to build a relationship with them. Both need training. There is nothing worse than having a dog or a husband that is unruly and tries to takeover the house. Housebreaking your dog or husband is essential. I suggested that my friend buy a dog if she didn’t have time to train a husband to put his dishes in the dishwasher or pick his underwear up off of the floor. At least you can put your dog in a crate when YOU need a break.

There are other things you need to consider when choosing between a dog and a husband:

Roaming dogs bring home fleas. Roaming husbands bring home other vermin and communicable diseases.

Dogs urinate on fence posts. Husbands urinate on the toilet seat.

Scruffy dogs are cute. Scruffy men just look scruffy.

Getting rid of a bad husband is complicated because you can’t take him to the dog pound. You have to take them to court.

My girlfriend is still trying to decide what to do. I’m giving her a copy of No Bad Men. She needs all the help she can get.

Editor’s note: All comments containing the word “bitch” will be deleted.

Check this out….

I nearly fell off of my chair when I saw this picture in one of my old nursing school years books from 1929. Look closely. This picture was used in an ad for an ambulance/funeral home owned by the McAllister family. I wonder if the driver of this multi-purpose vehicle is any relation to Nurse Kim from Emergiblog. Somehow I think that regulators would go crazy over something like this today. They would find the whole thing rather fishy.

Speaking of fishing things, Keith from Digital Doorway is hosting this week’s edition of Change of Shift. His theme is about how we are all living in a fishbowl. He talks about Twitter, Facebook, and all of my other Internet additions. Great job, Keith!

Dear President Obama:

I’m sorry, but I was laughing my butt off yesterday when Tom Daschle withdrew his nomination for HHS Secretary. I was pleasantly surprised when he was able to figured out how to get his name off of the nomination list. After all, he had such a tough time figuring out that you have to pay taxes on gifts. Maybe next time he will consult with H&R Block before he files his taxes.

President Obama, I’m sure that you really meant it when you said that you want to look forward and get on with business of running the country. And who can blame you. You tried to put a former health care lobbyist at the helm of HHS. Oops! Yes, President Obama, you screwed up, but there is a way out of this. You need to start listening to the people who put you in office. You remember, the people who voted for you. The ones who still want change. So far, all I’m seeing is a rerun of the Bill Clinton Show circa 1990s. I’ll never understand why a smart guy like you wants to emulate the Clinton administration.

I humbly suggest that you nominate Dr. Howard Dean as Secretary of HHS. Let’s look at his qualifications. First, he’s a doctor. That’s right, President Obama. I really think that anyone who holds a health care cabinet position should have an actual background in health care. Dr. Howard Dean is also the former governor of Vermont. He brought near-universal health care coverage to the people of Vermont, and he wants to bring the same thing to all of us. There’s one more reason why you should give the job to Howard Dean. You owe him. He helped put you in office. It’s just the Clinton thing to do.

Forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. It’s been over a week since my last blog post. Every time I look at a confessional I think of HIPPA. Priests are light years ahead of everyone else when it comes to confidentiality. I have just one question. How is that little partition supposed to preserve someone’s anonymity?

They say that confession is good for the soul, which brings me to what’s been going on lately in the blogosphere. So much has happened over the last week. I’ve been ripped off, but I wasn’t sure how it happened. I’ve taken a few days to sort things out by going through my old email and I’ve finally put the pieces together. I know what happened now.

Last week I learned that Wellsphere had been bought out by HealthCentral Network. I didn’t really pay attention to the news at first because big companies eat up little companies all the time. And then Twitter EXPLODED. People were making accusations that their blog posts had been stolen by a filthy guy named Dr. Geoffrey Rutledge. I vaguely remembered the name, so I checked my saved email file. I had received a letter from Dr. Rutledge a long time ago. He invited me to join Wellsphere and I initially voiced an interest, but I stopped communicating with him when he asked for sensitive information about my RSS feed account. I was so happy that I hadn’t gotten tangled up with the guy and I asked via Twitter if anyone had thought about putting together a class action lawsuit. Then I received another email from Dr. Geoffrey Rutledge. Here’s what it said:

Hi MJ,
I wanted to let you know that we have deleted your profile and posts on Wellsphere from your blog at nurse-ratcheds.blogspot.com/.
I wondered if you might like to connect with me personally, perhaps with a chat by phone.
Feel free to call me on my cell, xxx xxx-xxxx, or send me your number and a time, and I’ll be happy to call you.
Cheers, Geoff

This is how I learned that my blog had been hijacked. Wellsphere took my writing without my expressed written consent. When I originally wrote to Dr. Rutledge, I told him that I’d be honored to have my blog featured on Wellsphere. That’s not a contract. I’m really offended that there are some individuals who are blaming the bloggers for their current situation because they didn’t read the terms of service that was buried on the Wellsphere website. I finally found their TOS after digging around on their website and I’ve learned that thieves hide their finest work in the fine print. Wellsphere conducted predatory business practices and should suffer the consequences of their actions. I’m still interested in learning more information about any class action lawsuits that are being put together, so please keep me in the loop. By the way, I think we should go after HealthCentral just for being dick heads. HealthCentral’s CEO Christopher Schroeder told the Wall Street Journal Health Blog that he thinks that most bloggers are happy about the arrangement. Send him a subpoena. That will show him how happy we are about getting ripped off.

Confess your sins, Wellsphere, before it’s too late. Liars and thieves go to hell. They also end up in court.

Meet Nurse Mary Robison, Night Superintendent of Bradford Hospital. The hospital is located in Pennsylvania, and I found this picture in their nursing school yearbook that was published in 1929. Nurse Robison was an old school nursing supervisor that knew her stuff. I met a lot of supervisors like Mary when I was in nursing school. Those ladies could do anything twice as well as anyone else, and they wouldn’t ask you to do anything that they wouldn’t do themselves. They weren’t pencil-pushing administrators who just gave orders and couldn’t find their way out of a box.

My favorite nursing supervisor was a woman named Norma. Everyone in the hospital called her Stormin’ Norma because she blew through the halls like a hurricane when she did her rounds in the hospital. And make no mistake about it. It was her hospital while she was on the clock. Norma taught me everything that I know about managing an emergency situation. She said that the first rule of handling any emergency was not to panic. She told me that panic is a nurse’s enemy. Keep it out of your heart and your patient has a better chance of seeing another day. The second rule is to keep the patient breathing at all costs. Call the doctor for orders, even if it’s in the middle of the night, before things turn into a nightmare for you and your patient. The third rule was to CYA. Document everything you did during the emergency in the chart. She used to say, “Write a book about what you did. You’ll be sorry if you don’t.”

Words to live by, don’t you think? There is a special place in heaven for old school nursing supervisors.

Speaking of nursing supervisors, I had a chat with my nursing supervisor last night. She’s old school and she’s really a sweet lady with a great big heart. She was on my unit last night dealing with a few administrative issues, and before she left she announced some news. She told us that a survey conducted by a hospital organization just proved that the Greatest Hospital in the World is a great place to work. Apparently we have a low turnover rate, and very few job listings for nurses, therefore we are viewed as an employment Mecca. My coworkers and I snickered. We couldn’t help it. It just happened. The nursing supervisor looked perplexed. The other nurses pointed out GHW is the only hospital in our area and that’s why nurses don’t leave. I said that GHW works us to death so they don’t have to hire new nurses. I think the supervisor was sorry she said anything about the survey. Oh well, live and learn.

Do you remember the television show All in the Family? I remember an episode when Edith Bunker turned into a hormonal dingbat when she started going through menopause. Poor Archie. He didn’t know what to do. Edith was screaming and crying. Archie was going crazy, so he went up to Edith and said, “Ok, go ahead and do it. You’re going through the change, so CHANGE!”

Our economy is in a really bad place right now. We all want things to get better, but good times are no where in sight. I feel a little bit like Archie Bunker. I want things to change right now, because change isn’t coming fast enough for a lot of my patients. More people are homeless, and people who have never been unemployed before can’t find work and are unable to pay their bills. It’s been standing room only on my unit for the last couple of months. I really hope that President Obama delivers on his promises. There are a lot of people counting on him. All they have is hope.

I know that Archie would have voted for Obama after eight years of Bush. Even Archie can change. Yes he can.